It is not difficult to be convinced that we are losing ourselves to our screens. Just take a look around you, and you will see how dependent we have become, as a society, on the devices in our hands. It is so convenient and highly addictive too!

Have you ever paused to consider how often you glance at your phone, even when it hasn’t buzzed? How many moments with your family are interrupted by a quick scroll or a notification? It’s a sobering realisation for many of us, and it’s one our kids are quietly observing too.

Technology has become an undeniable part of our lives—it’s in our hands, on our desks, and even beside our pillows at night. But as much as it connects us, it can also pull us apart. So, let’s ask ourselves: What kind of relationship with technology are we modeling for our kids?

When Tech Takes Over: The Hidden Costs

The hidden costs of technology. These can cause long term harm for any individual, not just children.

Creating a healthy tech environment starts with understanding the potential impact of an unhealthy one. Here are some challenges to watch for:

1. Distraction

Constant notifications make it difficult to focus, and even when phones are out of sight, the thought of what we might be missing can linger. For kids, this can affect academic performance and daily activities.

2. Impatience

The instant gratification of technology—quick answers, fast likes—can shorten attention spans and make kids restless when things don’t happen immediately. This can hinder their ability to focus on tasks that require sustained attention, such as schoolwork or reading.

3. Self-Esteem Issues

Exposure to curated and often unrealistic portrayals of life on social media can lead to feelings of inadequacy among children. This environment fosters comparison and can significantly impact their self-esteem, contributing to anxiety and depression

4. Isolation

While technology can facilitate connections, excessive screen time often displaces face-to-face interactions, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Studies have shown that children who spend more time online report higher levels of social disconnection and emotional difficulties

5. Underdeveloped Social Skills

Children learn vital social skills through in-person interactions. Limited in-person communication means less practice in reading emotions, interpreting body language, and developing empathy—all essential life skills.

6. Reduced Empathy

The anonymity of online platforms can foster cruel behavior, desensitizing kids to its effects on others.

7. Physical Health Issues

From strained eyes and necks to hearing loss caused by loud headphones, the physical toll of excessive device use is real and concerning.

8. Exposure to harmful content

The internet can expose children to inappropriate or harmful material, including violence and cyberbullying. This exposure can have lasting effects on their mental health and overall development, leading to behavioral issues or trauma

Building Healthy Tech Habits: Tips for Parents

Here are practical ways to create a healthier relationship with technology—for your kids and yourself:

1. Limit Notifications

Turning off non-essential alerts can significantly enhance focus and productivity. Research indicates that smartphone notifications are a major source of distraction, even when users do not interact with them. A study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that interruptions from notifications can lead to substantial delays in returning to tasks, with an average recovery time of 23 minutes after being interrupted by a phone call or alert. Reducing notifications allows children to concentrate better on their activities and reduces the anxiety associated with constant alerts.

2. Use “Do Not Disturb” Mode

Activating “Do Not Disturb” mode during specific times (like meals or family time) can minimize interruptions and promote better sleep. Studies have shown that constant notifications can increase stress levels and disrupt sleep patterns. By silencing incoming alerts, children can engage more fully in their immediate environment, fostering deeper connections during family interactions and improving overall mental health.

3. Follow the 30:60 Rule

Implementing the 30:60 rule—30 minutes of screen time followed by 60 minutes of non-screen activities—encourages a balanced lifestyle. Research suggests that excessive screen time is linked to negative outcomes such as obesity, reduced social skills, and behavioral problems. Encouraging outdoor play or reading during non-screen time helps mitigate these risks while promoting physical health and social interaction.

4. Turn on Grayscale Mode

Using grayscale mode can reduce the appeal of screens, making them less enticing for prolonged use. While specific studies on grayscale mode are limited, anecdotal evidence suggests it may help decrease screen time by making devices less visually stimulating. This aligns with broader findings that suggest reducing visual engagement with devices can lead to healthier technology habits.

Setting the Standard: General Rules for Safe Tech Use

Tech zones are useful to set boundaries. It also means that once the child is outdoors, no devices can be used. Ultimately, parents are the role models.

1. Create Tech Zones & Tech-Free Times

Designating specific areas for tech use and enforcing tech-free times, such as during meals or before bedtime, can significantly improve family dynamics and children’s health. Research indicates that excessive screen time can lead to negative outcomes, including sleep disorders, emotional issues, and impaired social skills. Parents are increasingly concerned about screen time’s impact on their children, particularly regarding sleep quality and family interactions. Keeping devices out of bedrooms has been linked to better sleep quality, as screens can disrupt circadian rhythms and contribute to sleep disturbances .

Moreover, studies show that enforcing tech-free times promotes better communication and strengthens family relationships. A systematic review highlighted that limiting screen time leads to improved cognitive and psychosocial development in children . By creating designated tech zones, families can ensure that technology is used purposefully while preserving time for face-to-face interactions

2. Stay Aware Outdoors

Teach kids to avoid using devices while walking or playing outside. Not only does this ensure their safety, but it also keeps them alert and mindful.
I will encourage when kids go outdoors, let them play, without a device. Research supports the notion that outdoor play is essential for physical health and social skill development. Children who spend more time outdoors are less likely to experience feelings of isolation and loneliness . Moreover, being mindful while playing outdoors fosters awareness and helps develop important life skills such as spatial awareness and risk assessment.

3. Be the Role Model

Children learn behaviors by observing their parents. When parents respect tech-free times and spaces, children are more likely to adopt similar habits. Evidence suggests that parental modelling of healthy screen time behaviors significantly influences children’s technology use . For example, when parents prioritiae family activities over screen time, it sends a powerful message about the importance of personal interactions and balance in life.

I hope this has been helpful. I’ve delved into these issues for my own understanding and am sharing them with you to save you the time and effort of sifting through endless information. Be sure to subscribe to our mailing list and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Join our Parenting Success Network, where we share inspiring stories and proven strategies for raising emotionally intelligent and resilient children. We passionately advocate for more outdoor play in place of screen time, nurturing young minds and character to become the leaders of tomorrow.

References:

Ricci RC, Paulo ASC, Freitas AKPB, Ribeiro IC, Pires LSA, Facina MEL, Cabral MB, Parduci NV, Spegiorin RC, Bogado SSG, Chociay Junior S, Carachesti TN, Larroque MM. Impacts of technology on children's health: a systematic review. Rev Paul Pediatr. 2022 Jul 6;41:e2020504. doi: 10.1590/1984-0462/2023/41/2020504. PMID: 35830157; PMCID: PMC9273128.
Stothart C, Mitchum A, Yehnert C. The attentional cost of receiving a cell phone notification. J Exp Psychol Hum Percept Perform. 2015 Aug;41(4):893-897. doi: 10.1037/xhp0000100. Epub 2015 Jun 29. PMID: 26121498.
Maryville University. Children and Technology: Positive and Negative Effects. Available online at: https://online.maryville.edu/blog/children-and-technology/?t
WGU. Impact of Technology on Kids Today and Tomorrow. Available online at: https://www.wgu.edu/blog/impact-technology-kids-today-tomorrow1910.html?t
Woodell, B. The Role of Technology in Childhood Development: Pros and Cons. Available online at: https://www.wfla.com/bloom-tampa-bay/the-role-of-technology-in-childhood-development-pros-and-cons/?t
Rader, M. 6 Reasons to Start Using Do Not Disturb Mode on Your Phone. Available online at: https://www.helloraderco.com/do-not-disturb-mode/?t
National University. Blog: The Negative Effects of Technology on Children. Available online at: https://www.nu.edu/blog/negative-effects-of-technology-on-children-what-can-you-do/?t

Are We Losing Ourselves to Our Screens?